**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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