Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
try to milk me bitch
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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