never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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