Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize