I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
