Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
