I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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