? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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