she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
