would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
