I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
