if i can run in heels then i can drive
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
