Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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