I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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