Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
