What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
