the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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