I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
try to milk me bitch
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