Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize