It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
