seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
