i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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