Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
