nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize