I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize