How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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