dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Enjoy the penises
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
