you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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