he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
