Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
