Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My balls are so social today.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
