And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
