he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
