I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
