A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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