so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
