Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
