I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
