yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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