Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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