I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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