I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
