dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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