Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
