would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
