Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
