I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
