Sry I called you an 8
My nipple is on Facebook.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
