It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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