Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
