The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
