So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
