idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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