apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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