I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
