Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
