I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
