we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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