I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
