just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
